by Chelsi
It's heartbreaking when you realize why the negative commentary running through your head sounds so familiar. The defeatist words we use to refer to ourselves are ripped right out of the way our loved ones used to speak about us.
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Generations of us were raised by people who had outdated beliefs. Their standards for beauty and everything else were passed onto us.
It is good to see that the newer generation is breaking out of these molds little by little. Society is slowly embracing an updated version of what beauty is.
Some seem to still cling to the past and are adamant about passing their distorted definition of beauty. Luckily, young people like this Reddit user knows a thing or two about reinforcing boundaries.
The 15-year-old OP visited his grandma this New Year after she broke her wrist and injured her hip. He didn't want her to be alone on the first day of the year, so he went a day early to shop for her and spend time with their dog.
OP was back from his grocery run and was readying the dog for a walk when grandma made a comment about his weight. She told him how glad she was to see him doing something about his "extra Christmas weight."
OP was hurt and cried during the walk, especially since he has been exercising and living a healthier lifestyle. That night when he was making their New Year's Eve dinner, grandma made another offhand comment about his choices.
She said she wasn't shocked that he chose caloric products. OP said she didn't tell him to buy the low-fat options, and since he paid for everything, there shouldn't have been an issue.
She poked his stomach in answer and said the low-fat options was for him and not her
OP told her to stop commenting on his body and his doctor already told him how well he was doing with his lifestyle changes. Grandma had nothing to say about that and left OP alone.
While they were eating, she continued her tirade and even brought up OP's finances
She told him that he must have inherited his mother's instincts with money hence his lack of savings. OP was baffled by this since he is not bad at managing his money.
He had enough and told her to stop talking about his mom. He said that she should be grateful for everything he did for her previously because he did it with pure intentions.
OP immediately packed his bags and went home. OP told his grandma he won't see her again unless she sincerely apologizes to him.
The following day his grandma called him to say she was sorry, "he felt that way." OP told her to stop feeling bad about how he felt and start feeling sorry for her actions instead.
His mom is making him apologize to his grandma despite OP sharing their exchange. They are both mad at him now, and OP is confused if he actually overreacted.
It's incredible how healthy OP's boundaries are at such a young age
They were basically forcing OP to put up with their hurtful criticisms and got mad when he refused to take it
Still, it's never too late for grandma to change. Maybe OP's indignation was enough to make her question her toxic thinking.
Oh, wow. Just like that, I lost my new found hope.
"Wah! Why won't you let us say harmful things about yourself and your body! It's your fault for being too sensitive!"
No good deed and all that
Don't let her anger change your mind, OP. It's another way to manipulate you.
OP told her to quit it but she kept talking about his weight and dragged some other issues, too. Now, she's all shocked that OP is refusing to see her?
At least OP has his dad to lean on and model good behavior for him to emulate
OP's self-respect is amazing and it wasn't probably easy for him to speak up for himself against someone he loves. His grandma has time to learn why OP was so upset over her body-shaming comments, or she can lose a loving grandson.
No one should be shamed for trying to better themselves. Change is not overnight, and OP is doing amazingly well for someone his age; he has nothing to be sorry about.
